‘What is love?’ I quietly ask myself
When I sit on a window ledge in my bedroom at night.
The older I get the more answers seem to emerge;
Full moon has mesmerized me and I feel its mysterious pull yet again.
When I was a young child I learned to love my family, my dog and my friends;
Most of all I loved my imagination which seemed to be wild, pure and hardly contained.
Laying down on my back in a meadow I would gaze at clouds with ever growing wonder;
I built castles in the sky and jumped from one cloud onto another.
I used to see creatures: a dragon, a rabbit, a prince and his lover,
Fairies and birds chasing each other.
My heart would be filled with joy and innocent laughter
Until grandma would call me for lunch, oh how could she be so distracting?
As everything passes and changes in nature
And so I grew into someone more responsible and older.
I kept my natural curiosity though, childishness and wonder
And roamed free in a forest with animals so close to my nature.
School and teenage years taught me silly romance:
Daydreaming, wanting to connect and hold hands.
Did I really love a boy when I was so young?
Or was it just a concept picked up from mum’s books and TV programmes?
And when I got older I thought I knew what real love was:
Meeting someone, getting infatuated and question if that was enough.
There would be something missing so deep inside
Yet I didn’t know how to fill it so let romance take care of that.
I wasn’t aware of consciousness, of us all being one yet
So I kept looking outside of myself for happiness.
I wondered why this love thing didn’t last, didn’t give what I craved
And I heard in the night silent whisper, ‘it’s because you have to find it within’.
So self-love then became an alien concept;
Why is it so easy to love others even when they make mistakes?
Why am I so hard on myself and feel lost in constant self-criticism and blame?
And what does it mean that people, I am close with, are mirror aspects of me?
And then years of learning, reflection, growth and self-discovery took place;
I and self-love have finally made it – we are now friends.
I want to hold hands with all aspects of me: my ego, my sadness and my destiny.
And as I reflect back on my life I realise that I’ve had it all along:
My soul – it’s pure love and it’s never been lost.
Simplicity is often the key – calm down the mind, look around and make peace with yourself.
Accept where you are yet keep dreaming, trust your intuition and follow its wisdom.
Take necessary steps and remember – the force is with you;
As long as you have enough courage to face inner shadows it will take you where you belong.