The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction and focusing on the positive – something that many people talk about nowadays. And it often can be great, but what most people don’t realise is that they also need to deal with what’s in their unconscious mind (limiting beliefs/assumptions and perception formed in line with the beliefs). In other words, it’s what they’re telling themselves just beneath the level of conscious awareness.

And because belief creates reality until it’s brought into conscious awareness it will shape a lot in one’s life – often in such subtle ways that it will be hard to spot it at first. It’s important to know that the more you focus on what you want the more your unconscious beliefs get triggered, and so, two very different forces are at play.

Very often, what may appear as bad luck or unfortunate circumstance is nothing more than us creating our reality, unconsciously, yet not even being aware that we do it. If you really want to experience life to its fullest depths please do yourself a favour and get to know yourself. And no, it won’t always be pleasant, but nothing will make you more awake and empowered. Because only when you know what you believe about yourself, others and the world, only then you can do something about it.

Many of us are afraid to admit to ourselves or others when things aren’t great in life, because we believe that we need to maintain the mask of perfection and that we’ll be rejected if we show our true selves. But is it true? Or is it what we’re telling ourselves?

Don’t wait for a better tomorrow to come. You’re a powerful creator and it really is possible to experience what you’ve only dreamed of for so long. Regardless of whether you’ve created great achievements or a lot of pain and failure, the key point is that you’re always the one who creates your reality. And choosing what we create, as any other skill, can be learnt and used to a great extent. 🌟🌎🌗💖

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Open Heart

I wrote this poem a while ago, but I’ve been too afraid to post it. Simply, because it’s too open and so personal at the same time. Heck, I even get emotional when I read it now. I don’t even write poems very often, but when I do I post them on my blog (at least the ones that are complete anyway).  But here’s what happened… I wanted to read it and I couldn’t find it. And it upset me tremendously, for reasons that I don’t even understand. And then I found it in an archived WhatsApp message sent to Mr Someone himself.

So here’s the thing. Creativity and self-expression both go hand in hand. Because every time you create something you invest a piece of your heart. At least I do.  And it just so happens that I’ve chosen a path of the creative. And that requires vulnerability and living with an open heart. So regardless of how I feel, I want it to be on my blog, where it belongs, together with my other poems. Because it’s not just about him, it’s also about me and self-expression.  It’s something that I invested my time, emotions and my heart into. Regardless of its quality or relevance to what is happening in my life right now, it is my creation and I choose to let it out into the open.  All creations should be out there, really.

And my message to you is this: do not hold yourself back. Excitement, passion and imagination do not live there. And when you deprive yourself of self-expression and imagination, life feels bleak and monotonous. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what others think about you or how deep into your soul they see. They do not live your life, you do. So choose to be vulnerable, again and again. And always choose love, even if it feels like your heart has been broken a million times. Most importantly, choose to be true to yourself and follow your heart. I promise, it will certainly take you places.

Letting Go

I think of you when I can’t fall asleep at night.
Or can’t I fall asleep because I think of you?
I long for your touch. Your smell.
Your strong arms around me.
Your smile in the morning and a twinkle
in your eye when you wake up next to me.

I thought love would fade, but it hasn’t.
I didn’t know I could love you this much.
Regardless of what had happened between us,
You’re still the one that I love.

When you left, the world felt strange,
because someone so dear to me wasn’t there anymore.
I kept telling myself that we’re wrong for each other
and that you didn’t feel what I felt anyway.

I tried to convince myself that I didn’t feel
what I’ve felt for you either.
Only god knows how many nights I cried and
told myself it would be the last time.
Yet, lying to myself didn’t stop me from feeling
So I had to learn how to accept love
and all that followed with that.

Love. Loss. Pain. Anger. Confusion.
Guilt. Blame… to name just a few.
So many memories just kept emerging
And, god, I struggled profusely to let go of them.
Yet, sometimes I’d detach from feeling completely
and lived like an emotionless shell.

But letting go is inevitable I guess.
And so is being connected to love.
And loving someone whether you’re with them or not,
despite the distance between you, the circumstance
and even the past… It’s beautiful. And liberating.
I guess it shows who you are.

I’m so content when I see you… it scares me.
I’m always nervous and a little afraid to see you again.
I realise that our closeness and connection are strong:
it’s like the ever burning fire between us,
but it burns our hearts too.

Two forces. Inside me.
They fight between themselves and they keep telling me things.
One says to run, to forget you and to never look back,
but the other one tells me to always choose love.

It’s time. It’s time to move on and let go again.
I don’t expect anything nor do I ask you to give what you can’t.
But I’ll say one thing: there’s a lot of beauty inside you
and I will always be grateful for having experienced that.

The last time I saw you it was a wonderful gift.
Exciting, yet so emotional, maybe because
it felt like our final goodbye.
No fights or arguments, just two people
spending time together and feeling each other’s hearts.

I wonder, when did it really end?
When did we stop talking to each other
and decided to leave so many words unsaid?
What happened to openness, to trusting each other
and speaking from our hearts?
What happened to working things out?
What happened to our love?

Yet here I am again, letting you go…
Because it takes two people to build something,
because it takes two people to choose.

I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid that I’d lose it
and I guess you’ve been going through some memories too.
So here’s my poem, merely expressing what I wanted to tell you
and, finally, letting myself to walk away too.

New Relationship. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

A new relationship. Nice beginning, first few months of smooth sailing and boom – you have an argument. Things were said, a door was slammed, someone stormed out, someone fired an insult. As the relationship is fairly new you have no idea where you stand. In fact, you still might be questioning yourself if you were ready for that relationship in the first place. So what do you do now? You’re scared to lose them, but you’re equally scared to feel like you’re messing up again. And what on earth will you tell your friends, especially after posting that loved up shot on Instagram last week.

A battle of injured egoic perception of self against the battle of your true essence. You know who you are and you know your partner is a good person. You know that on a deeper level we are all connected and, as souls, everyone is equally beautiful. But you have also lived with your personality traits, beliefs and habits for so long that it’s damn hard to separate the made up identity, aka ‘the saboteur monkey’, from the real you.

And if you ask yourself, ‘Who am I really?’ and start de-constructing those false beliefs you will find dark bits, sadness, deep wounds, pain, lack of self worth, anger and rage which all stem from past experiences. It doesn’t matter how well you cover it up – we all have darkness inside. It’s just a part of being human. Even in nature – as night follows day; the rain follows sunshine.

Wounded? That can’t be you, right? Things are going wrong so maybe the person you’re with is the one who has issues and cannot understand you. Let me ask you something; can you understand yourself? Are you willing to work on yourself, to transform your character, to be more accepting and forgiving towards yourself and others? Are you ready to really get to know and love all aspects of you? As Carl Jung (a Swiss psychiatrist often called one of the most controversial psychological theorists) so rightly put, “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Looking inside your shadow and fully accepting yourself for who you are will  be one of the most difficult things you ever do. An old idea of self, expired beliefs and past experiences will often haunt you and threaten to take away sanity and pieces of happiness you still possess. It is easy to advise someone else what to do; how to raise kids, how to solve problems with their partner and how to live, really. Yet when it comes to ourselves we are often clueless, confused and can’t seem to find the way forward. 

When faced with choice, especially around relationships, it’s so easy to act childlike and throw a tantrum so just you don’t have to admit to yourself that you are scared and would rather sabotage the relationship. So you find excuses: long hours at work, crazy training regime, time consuming hobbies and no way you could commit to someone, as you do not have the time, right?

And then you look for supporting evidence: your partner said something you didn’t like, they didn’t call you when promised, and the colour of their shirt is just hideous. Congrats. You convinced yourself again – just look at the evidence you’ve gathered. Oh, and in case you still have any doubts, don’t forget to call your friends – especially the ones who always agree with you no matter what you say. 

But what if you’re missing out on something wonderful? What if your vision is so clouded by made up logic that you’re ultimately pushing away your soulmate? Will you find that closeness and intimacy, that only opening up to someone can bring? True – to fully open up requires to peel off layers of self and become vulnerable. Again. But guess what? You can’t buy a fulfilling relationship in a market stall nor can you store it on a shelf like a book you don’t fancy reading today. Because ‘when I am ready’ may never come so why choose to postpone love?

Or perhaps the relationship itself is wrong. And even if you know it is, why do you try so hard to hold onto someone who’s not for you? What really scares you about closing the door? Surely it can’t be that Instagram photo. 

Don’t fear failed relationships; fear those that you learnt nothing from and kept repeating same patterns over and over again. Because sometimes it’s just about the lesson of truly standing up for yourself, listening to your deepest heart’s desires and saying no. Because sometimes it’s just about learning to love you first.

I am not here to tell you what to do or who to follow, for there’s only one voice you should follow – yours. Because the only way to happiness is to be true to yourself. After all it’s easy to lie to a parent or work colleague and tell them you’re fine, but there is only so long you can lie to yourself. You know the truth – admitting it is the hard part.

Your life will only change when you commit to being true to yourself no matter what. Forget everyone around you. Forget their advice, their opinions and all the good they ever wish for you to experience. Ask yourself – rely on your intuition. Only you, in the depths of your being, know what’s right for you, but you have to choose to live your own truth. This choice is never easy to begin with, but as with everything in life the more you practise the easier it gets.

So stop for a moment and glance back; you’ve been trying to run away from yourself and it hasn’t been easy. How much worse can it be to live with yourself instead? And if you really feel like you don’t know yourself and what you want, then just ask this question: ‘what would someone who loves themselves do?’ Ideally, keep asking this question daily – as many times as is needed: when it comes to food choices (what a wonderful diet advice), how to spend a Sunday afternoon or when you can’t decide whether to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Teal Swan wrote a powerful blogpost titled ‘365 Days of Self Love’ in which she advises to live by this question for an entire year to learn the true power of self love. This, of course,  requires commitment on your part, but as everything in life worth having – it all starts with saying yes. And remember, magic hides outside your comfort zone.

Beginning and End

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”
T.S. Elliot

There’s a beginning and then there’s an end. 2015 is coming to a screeching halt and 2016 is slowly creeping up through the magical gate of the universe. The crisp London air invites everyone into streets and presents humanity with yet another post-Christmas melt down. Another year has gone; a year of daily experiences, some magical moments, perhaps some important breakthroughs or miserable failures. Will 2016 bring something different, more exciting and worthwhile?

I remember when I used to make New Year resolutions, which many people still do. Towards the end of this year, however, I find myself asking if I need a certain date in the calendar to make a change? The truth is – I don’t. I have learnt that sometimes the time is never right; only when we pluck up the courage, step out of familiar surroundings and comfort zone, and dare to travel an unexplored road, the one that is less travelled – only then miracles happen. And when you think about it, life in itself is a miracle. So what are we waiting for?

Don’t wait. Stop putting your life on hold off until tomorrow. Just ask yourself: what if tomorrow never comes? You already have in you the strength, the courage, and the right imagination to make your dreams come true. You may wonder what imagination has to do with anything. Just close your eyes for a moment and dare to dream, because dreams are the building blocks of life. They create and inspire, they move you or give you hope. And sometimes they are the only thing that will keep you going.

There’s the beginning and then there’s the end. And we find ourselves asking, the end of what? Another year which is, in essence, just a fragment of time? Another year which will be remembered by many, forgotten by many too? I wonder how closely the end and the beginning are really related.

They say that painful endings are often disguised as new beginnings – and so you may find yourself asking: ‘what new beginning would I like to create right now (not from Monday or January 1st)? Right now – as you’re breathing, you’re conscious and can hear the wind claiming the ownership of the night; as your senses are awake and allow you to feel love, pain, joy and disappointment. Your time is here and now. Don’t waste it wishing for better days ahead. Do that one thing, at this very moment, which will move you at least an inch closer towards the manifestation of your dreams.

We were born to grow and create. I know it isn’t always easy – in fact, most of the time, quite contrary – life is challenging. But it’s up to you how you handle those challenges. A friend of mine says that nothing is ever wasted… Sometimes I regret, and if you are just human – quite possibly so do you: time spent on failed relationships, monotone jobs, chasing goals that at the time seemed unattainable, hurting people, getting hurt, losing a personal battle. Sometimes we cry and wonder, ‘what if’? The truth is – none of it matters now. ‘What if’ did not happen. Perhaps because we were too scared to try or maybe it wasn’t meant to happen in the first place.

So be brave, be bold, be courageous – be the kind of person you have always wanted to be. Promise to yourself that next time the ‘what if’ situation comes along you will turn it in to, ‘I went for it and this is what happened…’ And you know what? If you fail, that’s ok too. There’s the beginning and then there’s the end. And if you find yourself asking, ‘the end of what?’, only you can solve this magnificent puzzle called ‘life’.

Happy New Year!