A Woman

What does she see when she looks in the mirror?
A wanderer or a lost soul?
Uncontrollable passion that hasn’t been expressed
Or wild dreams and big hopes she wishes to live, but hasn’t dared to yet?
She feels inky shadows and pain; they seem real and they haunt her.
They’re not real – they were made up, years ago, to protect her.
She sees them, she feels them – she goes back in time along tracks of memory where they can be found.
She sees the same woman, but not grown up yet – she’s a little baby
creating definitions of the world around her.
She meets her reflection – a warrior who loves to explore,
who enjoys laughter and freedom, makes choices and isn’t afraid anymore.
She smiles at herself, because she knows now – her heart is much stronger
than the memories her mind has been holding on for too long.
So who is she? A mother? A lover? A daughter? A child who’s afraid to grow up?
The more she lets people know her, the more they love her for her;
She’s a sacred and never fully understood mysterious language of gods,
a turbulent gust of cold air, she’s a fire, and the calm after a storm in the sea.
But more so than anything, she’s the master of her own infinite creative power and beautiful feminine essence designed to connect with the gods.


Pretty Lies

In a moment of icy crystal like clarity
My wounded heart was beating so loud, in a dusky restaurant,
I was afraid that he would hear it and ask about the wide eyed look and rose-pink hot-flushed cheeks
When suddenly I saw my own fear infused, ever expanding, like a stain of blue ink on a white satin sheet, insanity.
What I was trying to achieve, perhaps not what, but how, it startled me, stabbed me to my core with a pair of cold, stainless steel scissors
By betraying my own tired heart, by going for something that has never been true for me which I knew right from the tangled-web-like start;
I hurt myself like a bird fallen from the sky that didn’t spread its wings and violently crashed to the cemented ground.
This wasn’t a life anymore, but pretty lies to me, my soul and I.
Running from my own truth. Lacking the courage to ignite a fire in my jaded heart. Not allowing myself to believe, not allowing to love.
Except that the lies weren’t pretty anymore.
And even though, out of marmite ridden guilt or maybe fear, I’ve still tried, the convincing, ghostly blindness which used to be my friend,
Didn’t have that hypnotic power over me anymore as much.
The truth has pierced its eyes wide open. It made me feel the flowery drops of dew in early morning on my thirsty skin. It’s slowly steered me towards a clearing in the bleak and shapeless day, perhaps it’s impelled me in the direction of love.
I was left alone. Again. To figure things out.
To choose yet another voyager sailboat in the stormy ocean, no, not even on solid ground.
Well, either that or stick to something that I’ve known – the pretty lies. The ones that I’ve been using to betray my own heart.
And all I needed to realise the truth was a conversation with the perfect stranger in a candlelit restaurant with casual yet stylish deco,
Where waiters smile at you and treat you like a king;
In the city restaurant filled with hope and expectations, of multiple hearts looking for home – to belong, to feel safe, to run wild and to accept themselves.
The arrogant stranger who shook me to my core, I thank him.
He tossed a shiny golden coin onto darkest ground and disappeared into his granite castle. And in that way he’s perfect. Never to be seen again yet never forgotten.
I picked up the coin with my cold, trembling hands and promised to my heart that I’d pay the price to listen to my soul until the language that it speaks to me feels finally like home.

Happy New Year

The first few months of this year were pretty awful. And it felt like the world, as I knew it, was falling apart. It wasn’t bad luck, unfortunate circumstances or people in my life. It all was down to my focus and what I had believed I deserved versus what I really wanted. And hey, I guess some old structures have to fall apart so that we can create new, better ones.

But… I pulled through, refocused on what matters to me, and looking back I can reflect on the amazing year that I’ve had. So much has happened since then and I feel incredibly grateful for what I’ve created and experienced. Isn’t in fascinating how much life can change within a year? And friends… I’m lucky to have some wonderful peeps in my life. You know who you are.

And for those of you who don’t feel that this year has been particularly good, it doesn’t matter. Really. It doesn’t mean anything about you, it’s not personal. If one year didn’t go as well as you would have liked it to, it’s never too late to create a change. So here’s to the New Year ahead. May it be bright, adventurous, exciting and bring you all that you truly desire. May your wildest dreams come true!

Happy New Year, folks!

“If you want the whole thing, gods will give it to you, but you must be ready for it.” Joseph Campbell

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction and focusing on the positive – something that many people talk about nowadays. And it often can be great, but what most people don’t realise is that they also need to deal with what’s in their unconscious mind (limiting beliefs/assumptions and perception formed in line with the beliefs). In other words, it’s what they’re telling themselves just beneath the level of conscious awareness.

And because belief creates reality until it’s brought into conscious awareness it will shape a lot in one’s life – often in such subtle ways that it will be hard to spot it at first. It’s important to know that the more you focus on what you want the more your unconscious beliefs get triggered, and so, two very different forces are at play.

Very often, what may appear as bad luck or unfortunate circumstance is nothing more than us creating our reality, unconsciously, yet not even being aware that we do it. If you really want to experience life to its fullest depths please do yourself a favour and get to know yourself. And no, it won’t always be pleasant, but nothing will make you more awake and empowered. Because only when you know what you believe about yourself, others and the world, only then you can do something about it.

Many of us are afraid to admit to ourselves or others when things aren’t great in life, because we believe that we need to maintain the mask of perfection and that we’ll be rejected if we show our true selves. But is it true? Or is it what we’re telling ourselves?

Don’t wait for a better tomorrow to come. You’re a powerful creator and it really is possible to experience what you’ve only dreamed of for so long. Regardless of whether you’ve created great achievements or a lot of pain and failure, the key point is that you’re always the one who creates your reality. And choosing what we create, as any other skill, can be learnt and used to a great extent. 🌟🌎🌗💖

When the Heart is Cut

It’s so easy to keep the heart closed and to believe that in doing so we will protect it from any future pain and hurt. But, what really happens, that assumed protection is exactly what ends up hurting us even more. What is life without love?

When the heart is closed, we live in fear and are focused on avoiding pain, and as many of us know, focus creates reality. We rush, we run, we distract ourselves with busy lifestyles, just to avoid emotions, and so it becomes harder and harder to acknowledge and accept how we really feel.

When the heart is closed, love can’t flow through, and when we deny love to others, we also deny it to ourselves. Without self love we can’t truly flourish, and life then, often, loses real meaning.

Yet, there’s only so long you can run away from yourself. The ice has to crack one day. Face what has happened to you, allow yourself to feel, however painful it may be, and choose to keep the heart open. Pain doesn’t last forever, love does. And, most importantly, you get to choose what emotions you give the power to.

I came across this beautiful poem, by Michael Leunig, in one of my favourite restaurants last night. Considering that it was in the dessert menu, all I can say is that life is sweet. 🌸🌍🌻🦋

When the heart
Is cut or cracked or broken,
Do not clutch it;
Let the wound lie open.
Let the wind
From the good old sea blow in
To bathe the wound with salt,
And let it sting.
Let a stray dog lick it,
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing
A simple song like a tiny bell,
And let it ring.

Elena’s Story

I met a woman yesterday (let’s call her Elena) and she shared an incredible story. I’ll tell you a little shorter version of it, but tell you I must.

Elena has had some heart complications for most of her life; and one time, in the presence of her mother, she went into cardiac arrest. The mother was crying and shouting that her daughter was dead, and she kept telling Elena that she loved her and was asking her not to go.

Elena remembered hearing her mother’s words and by the time her mother had said, ‘love’ for the 3rd time, in her unconscious state, Elena suddenly saw a tall column of bright white light with lots of number sequences in it, moving at incredible speed. And that column of light flowed into her heart and Elena regained consciousness. She described what she experienced as ‘god’.

The story made me think of two things: 

1. There’s no more powerful force than love 
2. There’s light in each and every one of us

So let go of past pains and disappointments, don’t hold onto memories which you cannot change. Stop going back and thinking about what could have been done differently. Even if you’re hurt, connect to what’s higher in people and even if you cannot love, at least acknowledge and appreciate that part of them and, most importantly, let go. Because the person transformed by that experience will be you. Because you deserve to be free. 

What’s yours will always find you, but the key is to be open enough to receive it.  What we want most is often within arms reach, but we’re so blinded by our ego that we refuse to see it. So ask yourself, what is it that you truly want, but are not allowing yourself to have it? And remember, we’re infinitely loved and guided. We are love. ♥️

Higher Over the Lower

Demons are real. And no, I don’t mean ghosts or evil spirits that are lurking in a closet ready to attack; but those demons within us that tell us how we can’t achieve something so we might as well just give up.I’m pretty sure, many of us are familiar with that quiet yet nagging voice saying to wait until tomorrow when we know that we’re perfectly capable of doing what needs to be done today. 

It’s the darker side within us which says that we should identify with pain, with our own limitations and that our dreams, especially big dreams are so far out of reach. It’s the part that says it’s ok to eat that extra cookie or stay in an unfulfilling relationship, because it’s easy, known, comfortable and safe. But it’s also the part that keeps us separate and away from what we really want. 

Equally though, there is a voice within us that is way more powerful and inherent in our nature. It’s what connects us to our dreams and says that we can expect more from life. It’s the driving force within that keeps us going no matter what. It’s what gives us faith in our own ability regardless of what we might have gone through. It’s what reminds us that the human spirit is unconquerable and that we were born to create and live a life of joy and fulfilment; and by doing so to inspire and show others what’s truly possible. Stir someone’s spirit enough and they’re already closer to recognising their own true nature. 

I often wonder why people find it so easy to judge and criticise themselves, yet self-love and recognition of the inner power is something that needs to be worked at. We always believe in something, so we might as well believe in what’s higher within us and choose to look at life from that point of view.